Some things ought not fade away
I snuck away and shot some film. Hassie 203 with 110 lens.
This is not a techie post. So let’s be clear about that. So please, no comments about “film vs. digital”. But I’ve been keeping a secret for the past few months — I secretly (re)bought my old film cameras again. I admit it — I miss shooting film. I miss film grain. I miss the square. I miss a giant viewfinder. I miss having a day or so after shooting a picture, and then having the surprise of opening the film envelope and seeing what I shot, (instead of squinting at the Canon LCD instantly).
I have no illusions — for commercial projects, for the most part, film is dead. At least for me. Clients are spoiled to shooting tethered. It doesn’t even surprise me anymore when they say, “We need it all tomorrow”. And honestly, if I was to grit my teeth and admit it, many times the picture is made better if the AD can stand there and see the laptop as I’m shooting, and offer his/her input on the spot. Some times, two heads ARE better than one. Or maybe it’s simple feedback like “Hey, dumbass, this ad is vertical; not horizontal. Didn’t you see the PDF? Turn the camera”.
So I know that digital is here to stay, but like some sappy Romeo and Juliet scene, that still can’t kill my love for an old metal 203 Hasselblad, and big heavy lenses, and a giant viewfinder, and a square frame. It just can’t kill it. So now, whenever I can, I sneak in a roll or two of film. Just for me. Just for my soul. Nobody has complained yet.
We just completed an incredible job for a children’s hospital. With all the dreariness of the market crash, it’s easy to get down in the dumps. But on this last project, I met the most amazing doctors — people who are doing incredible things in medicine, and then when there are children involved, and they’re saving them and making their lives better every single day, it just gives you hope for society. The girl above is now a vital, spunky, feisty nine-year old — healthy as a horse. When I heard her real-life story, it just took my breath away — doctors doing amazing things under crunch conditions.
We did her main setup, and then we snuck in a couple of rolls of 220 color neg, just in case the agency could use it somewhere in the piece. At least that’s what I told them — I really did the shot for me, to look thru that gorgeous 110 lens, wide open at f2, and watch the focus just fall, fall away. Even after 27 years in the business, looking at a great face thru a nice camera is still a joy.
you’ve got it right there Mark. Looking at a great face through a nice camera is what makes it all worthwhile. I’m bored of technology. I want something more. I think we lost something along the way, and I think you just described it.
Nice post!
I’m one upping your Mark… I pulled out my old 4×5, bought some equipment to process my black and white here at home without a darkroom and will however eventually scan and print digitally. A friend lent me her Hasselblad as well, so I’ll be going down that road again too! I’m Very excited!
I sold my M8 Leicas and went back to shooting Neopan 400 in my M4 and M6. Tuck you are totally to blame for me buying two Rollei TLR’s, restoring them, adding Maxwell screens and shooting bluegrass musicians with a TLR. See, you let me in on the secret and it got me going about missing a medium format camera even though in my heart, I am a Leica guy.
I agree about waiting for film and the contact sheets. I spoke with Wolf yesterday and tried to explain it to him, the need for waiting. He did not understand at first, then he talked about going into the recording studio with the beauty of analog tape and having to get it right in a set time period – rather than mucking about in the studio with the Macintosh.
It is kinda freeing to not worry if you got it or not and just having the confidence (and craft) to know you nailed it without having to chimp into the screen or tethered.
I’ve never been able to afford a Hassie, not even now, but as I wrote just two days ago, although I’m not supposed to, I love the big THAWUMPH of the giant Bronica S2 mirror. And the viewfinder seems 3D. I bought a 4×5 Razzlock this year and haven’t used it. I will, but 6×6 has been too much fun. Keep buying film. And keep posting for us who like the personal photos best.
Funny, I picked up a 555ELX recently and have started “sneaking” in some film on shoots as well. Now if someone would give us a 6×6 cmos sensor there wold be no need to sneak.
I know what you mean about film, I sorta miss it, too. The stink of fixer, the endless hours in dim orange light, hanging new negs on the line to dry while carefully peeking through ‘em to see how they look, etc. As said, clients now stare like deer in headlights if one says, “hey, let’s shoot film instead of digital.”
I think the reason we miss film is we grew up with it. Niépce might have thought the same about film as we do about digital, “mon Dieu, I miss the glass plates and mixin my own goop.” Some 15 year old who’s known nothing but digital may well, when he’s older, say, “jeez, I miss the old chips, these new ones are way too clean.”
In the end, we shoot with what we have and apply what we know. Pinhole, Diana, Hasselblad, PhaseOne…it all still uses light and we love light do we not?
Now, where I put that old dark cloth…
Je devrais essayer, ce flouté autour de la tête donne de la puissance à la photo et surtout un coté très poétique, vraiment je suis fan de tes portraits.
I should try that flout around the head gives the power to the photo and especially a very poetic side, I really am a fan of your portraits.
Let’s go shoot some 8×10 polaroid, I would like that.
Reading about how you miss shooting film made me think about this.
It seems like a lot of people lately are trying to find little pieces of the past that they miss.
I’ve been harping at my kids to write some letters on paper to their grandparents, stop emailing them.
The handwritten letter is a dying art that my kids and their friends will never understand. I could still recognize the handwriting of every friend who’s ever written me a letter.
Ahh..the sweet smell of opening the letter and seeing the penmanship of your long distance lover. You could smell his scent by just seeing his handwriting.
I have many more examples of this walk through yesterday that’s been plaguing me,but I’ll save them for later. The main thing is this; deep down we are all a little frightened about our futures right now
and it is comforting to go back to a time when we felt more secure. There’s just gotta be a bigger message out there.
Inspiration. The word is kind of cliche and when I hear it I want to run.
The notion however is sincere. Nothing as sincere as a warm open face. Lovely in every regard. The camera, the lens, the film, the paintbrush is nothing save for the face and the imagination it contains.
I’m with you!
I’m sitting here with a couple rolls I shot several months ago of a kid the same age as the one above. Shot them “just because” and had them processes only this week. I’m reminded every time I get my film back why its different and more interesting than digital… wish I could justify going back to shooting it all the time!
Slowing down with film and the separation it provides between shooting and viewing the image is a vital part of my creative process and believe that it lends a lot to alot of peoples work. I burned through ab out 35 rolls of 120 in my hassy between Sunday and today. Good for the soul.
Shooting film made me think about the pictures I was shooting and what was unfolding in front of me instead of looking at the pictures I’d already taken.
Imagining the pictures I’d already taken always took me in new directions.
To this day I’m still stricken with that moment over 30 years ago when I first saw that first print come up in the Dektol. Digital does take some of the magic out of it all.
Mark, I think it’s official. You have bought back more cameras than I have sold.
Nice shot, Mark. I love the colors and bokeh.
I sold my film cameras & accessories on eBay in 2007, and felt ambivalent to pack up my Sinar 4×5 and 8×10 (4×5 went to The Czech Republic, the 8×10 to Romania). I felt like I hadn’t finished something, that something still needed to be photographed. But the gear had sat for over 4 years, being used only once or twice instead of every day. My feelings of sadness and melancholy were replaced with relief and satisfaction when the buyers of those cameras expressed incredulous joy and excitement over their new equipment. I knew the gear was in the right hands, and we still exchange emails about our work and culture.
I haven’t looked back. My work has improved dramatically due to the instant feedback loop of tethered shooting. I love the control it provides me, and the stimulus it gives clients. I love the “digital darkroom”, being able to have my kids come & go, bring me snacks and hugs. No longer are they locked outside my wet darkroom, tapping on the door, asking when I’ll be done.
REPLY TO GEORGIE: It’s even worse than I admit in that post — I actually (re)bought my old Ebony4×5, and four great lenses recently, thinking I missed that. But 4×5 was not for me at all, for people — way too slow and way too much stress after pulling that dark slide. So I quietly (re)sold all the 4×5 stuff recently. Sometimes, it takes a while to (re)find what you really missed. It was Hasselblad.
Mark…
I really appreciate what you posted. I think that photo is lovely and has a feel that is tough to replicate, as good as digital is.
I know that I spend a lot of time trying to make digital look like film, and it still doesn’t. Not that film is better, but I just have a preference for the feeling it evokes (and that’s typically right out of camera with no futzing in front of a Mac).
Even in this age of instant gratification, raw capture, and all that..I’m glad to see you made a place again in your world for film. Would love to see more.
Paul
ADDITION: I shot some portraits at the recent Obama rally here. On film. I just called my lab to check on the job, and the girl replied, “Uh, well, we now only process C41 on Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday, so your job won’t be ready til the end of the day”.
Very Bad Sign.
As if I didn’t know it was coming. But still, it’s a sign of things to come. This was a lab that used to be the CENTERPOINT of the entire photo community in Nashville; running E6 and C41 by the boatload. And now, to hear something like that, it’s just a marker that the writing is on the wall.
And with such lame choices in true solutions in Medium Format Digital. What a mess. Everyone yelling, “We’re the best; spend your Fifty Grand with Us!”, and every one of them with only Half a Solution, and unanswered questions, and Workflow From Hell.
Ugh.
I had to brow beat the lab where I am at right now to start up his C-41 line so that I could run 60 or so sheets of 4×5 and dozens of rolls of 120. Very bad sign indeed.
Thanks for posting this Mark. I still get my Hassies out every 3 or 4 months just to fire the shutters and lenses. I think it’s time to shoot some film as I’m kind of missing it too. I was about to sell all of it several times over the years, but I’m glad I held on to them.
Great post and sentiment. I happen to be getting heavier into digital (new to a MFDB) but at the same time stepping back from the automated power of my sold Canon 1DsIII. I’m looking forward to the simpler camera, the slower process, the need for a tripod, etc. For me, it allows me to enjoy the shooting process and be more purposeful with my images.
Mark,
Makes me smile…your old web site had a bunch of different photo folios from your different eras. I always preferred the Cuba 6×6s … Hasselblad?
Bob
Mark!
An amazing photo… one of the best of the shoot in fact. This, despite the fact that I wasn’t standing over you for this one.
: )
Can’t wait to work with you again… quite possibly in the next few weeks? Love the blog.
Be good,
Roy